Best of Craigslist

Best of Craigslist http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best postings from craigslist.org, selected by readers en-us Copyright 2010, craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best of Craigslist Collection 2010-02-22T23:08:01-06:00 2 daily To the redheaded MILF jogging in the park Sunday morning, apologies - m4w http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1613632095.html I hope you realize that my perving was directed at you and only you, and absolutely no part of it was meant for your young daughter (niece? juvenile jogging companion?). As implied, I enjoy the perks of jogging at Audubon, and one of those is a bit of ogling on the sly. It helps me forget that it's been too long since I was jogging regularly, and I usually wear sunglasses to keep my baser proclivities to myself. You are stacked, I like redheads, my sunglasses were missing...you see where this is going. Anyway, I must congratulate you on getting your young companion to to run completely concealed behind you, only to emerge at what was, for me, the worst possible time. Do you practice that? It must be the best ogle-stopper in the business. I swear, when she popped out from behind you, my libido panicked and imploded in about a nanosecond, and it took effort not to loose a cry of "Dirty pool!" Well played, MILF. Anyway, I am sorry if the young lady was hit with creep-shrapnel. That really isn't my thing. I apologize if my perusing of your goods was offensive, too. See you around? <ul> <li> Location: Audubon Park <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2010-02-22T23:08:01-06:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1613632095.html To the redheaded MILF jogging in the park Sunday morning, apologies - m4w text Tired of those boring "dinner and a movie types"? http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1473675020.html I'm looking for someone who will allow me to "act out" in public and can react appropriately. I'm tired of dating boring, tepid, insipid politically correct women. I want a liberal woman in the most true sense; not your messenger bag carrying, bike riding, garden variety gender-defender. Can you call someone a cunt in a public place without changing your tone and use the word to refer to your vagina in the same sentence? Do you agree with the opinion that women are terrible drivers, bad actors, and even worse musicians? Would you enjoy getting fucked by a man in a diaper? If so, On our first date, you will walk me on one of those child-leashes while I wear a helmet and do my best to stumble into every bypasser at the mall. I will at some point throw myself to the ground and slam my head repeatedly into the hard surface while screaming "NO TOUCH ME DERE, SISTER!" over and over. You will smile nervously at the mall patrons and assure them that "It will be over soon; he tires easily." After that, we will go and get ice cream. When asked which flavor I want, I will demand the ice cream attendant give me "all the ice creams". You will discipline me and tell me I can have only one flavor. At this time I will throw another violent tantrum until you bargain with me and I get two, three, or maybe four (this is up to you, since you'll be paying and rewarding me based on my performance). When we have our ice cream, I will eat it sloppily and smear it into your hair while giggling (ice cream is every retards favorite thing, you know). You will get up to grab napkins and I will quickly take the remainder of your ice cream and throw it across the food court or while you clean me up, I will shove it down your blouse. We will go to the video game store where you will "turn me loose" and pretend to talk on your phone absent mindedly outside of the store. I will harass the employees and ask them "OH! Can I have disth game?!" around a hundred times, once for each different game I see behind the counter. "Dat one" I will say as they try in vain to determine which product I am pointing out while staring at the ceiling or floor. Ten minutes or so should be enough time for me. You will then come collect me, awkwardly apologize, and we will leave the store for the womens restroom where you will proceed to change my diaper in front of the changing station. I will get hard and you tell me "Bad boy, bad boy" while slapping my penis. If anyone says anything, you will tell them you "have to slap it because it's the only way to make it go away" or "this is the only way I can teach him a lesson." When we leave the mall, we can go back to my place and continue roleplaying. You can teach me where babies come from and then we will practice making them in front of my video camera; the recording of which you will not get a copy. Condoms make my penis burn, so please be STD free. Criteria: 1. Stay in character at all times. I will not leave character at any point and if you do, I will react aggressively. I'm a pretty big guy. Don't piss me off. 2. You must wear a very sexy outfit. A short skirt and a low-cut top. I want to see your ass cheeks and titties hanging out. Tease your hair and wear some perfume. Also, do not wear underwear. A video game character costume is a plus. 3. If I happen to improvise a passing out spell during a tantrum, when you're leaning over me pretending to revive me or whatever, I will be aiming to pop a boner. Once you feel it prodding, you will do your best to hide it nonchalantly while pretending not to notice. This is very important and I will expect your best performance to come of this because I will suddenly spring up, grab you, and begin to hump you. You will react as if this was a normal thing and tell onlookers "Just give him a minute, he finishes fast." You are free to improvise your own dialog, but if it's stupid or it becomes obvious that you are pretending, I will loudcap you with retard yelps to distract from your ineptness. If all goes well, maybe we could meet up for a 2nd date. Maybe more. <img src="http://www.midwestskate.com/Hockey/images/Jofa_Helmet.jpg"> <ul> <li> Location: New Orleans <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-11-19T16:08:30-06:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1473675020.html Tired of those boring "dinner and a movie types"? text condoms and door knobs. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1361868126.html I have 750 kiss of mint condoms that expired in 3/2004. I have 750 lubricated colored condoms that expired in 9/2006. They are no longer safe for pregnancy prevention but do have several other uses. They make great water balloons, safe sex educational tools, balloon animals etc... What you do with them is your business but I strongly advise that you do not use them for pregnancy prevention. They have been properly maintained in air conditioned and lighting controlled conditions. They should be ok for use but to be on the safe side I would not use them for sexual purposes. That being said if you want them let me know and we can arrange a pick up. I also have 11 door knobs. I recently replaced them and have no use for them now. If anyone has any use for either the condoms or the door knobs let me know. <ul> <li> Location: marrero <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-09-06T22:46:12-05:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1361868126.html condoms and door knobs. text Duck egg that my cat brought home http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1318631839.html My cat brought home a duck egg. Near Bayou St. John. I would be happy to turn it over to someone if they care to hatch it or whatever. This is the second of two but the first got cracked on the way home. I don't have the facilities to hatch it and I don't eat strange eggs my cat brings home. <ul> <li> Location: midcity <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-08-11T21:33:45-05:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1318631839.html Duck egg that my cat brought home text To The Person Who Burglarized My Car http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1261072180.html Louisiana Criminal Code Section 62: Simple Burglary--"Simple burglary is the unauthorized entering of any dwelling, vehicle, watercraft, or other structure, moveable or immovable, with the specific intent to commit a felony or any theft therein. Whoever commits the crime of simple burglary shall be fined not more than two thousand dollars, imprisoned with or without hard labor for not more than twelve years, or both." Let's see: Unauthorized entry: Check. (My car having windows--as opposed to being made of one solid chunk of titanium-- does not constitute my permission to break one of them when I am out of town, reach in, unlock the door, and enter.) Of any dwelling, vehicle or watercraft: Check. (Last I checked, Hondas are considered vehicles.) With specific intent to commit a felony or any theft therein: Check (I can't read your mind seeing as I do not know you, but I can surmise from the missing radio and first generation iPod mini that you intended to steal them when you entered. Of course, maybe you just wanted to come in to look through the stack of magazines in the backseat and when you didn't like the articles you decided to take the radio and iPod...who knows.) So with all these elements met, I think it's safe to assume that you, whoever you are, did in fact commit a simple burglary when you entered my car and stole my radio and first generation iPod mini. The punishment: up to 12 years in jail--potentially at hard labor!--and/or a 2,000 dollar fine. So really my question to you, my dear felon, is WHAT could possibly have compelled you to risk such a severe punishment for a radio and iPod that collectively aren't worth more than 60 bucks at a pawn shop or on Ebay? Seriously, what was the overarching NEED that spurred you to take such a risk? Do you have children at home who are starving? In that case--although I wish you would just get a job-- I am not that upset with you. I can get a new radio. And theoretically, you could get new kids if the first ones croak--but no one wants that. So if my radio and iPod went towards gummy bears or DiGiorno pizza or other foodstuffs for your kids, I sort of understand. But somehow, although I don't know you, I doubt it. So what else? Hmm...did you possibly steal my stuff because you needed to score some drugs? Not to stereotype you, of course, but you see--normal people don't go running around committing simple burglaries so I figure maybe the clutches of addiction were so strong that you HAD to break in and steal my radio and iPod. In that case, I pity you. And I hope you can get the help you need. Because all too often people who turn to crime to pay for a drug habit end up clogging up the American prison systems, hurting their families, and adding to the culture of fear and violence in urban areas. I also realize, if you were stealing to score drugs, that your life is probably really hard and that you would never have turned to drugs in the first place if things had gone your way. But all that being said....it kind of pisses me off to know that while I am driving around listening to silence and smelling the swampy smell of rain that came through the broken window in my car while I was out of town, that you are running around in a blissful state of meth induced psychosis. And truthfully, while I know that the monetary value of the items you took is not very much, I really liked my radio and iPod. It made me smile when during my commute a really good song would come on. And to think that the 10 years of pleasure the radio has given me and 5 years of pleasure the iPod has given me are all gone just for, what, 5 scores of street drugs (sorry, I don't know what crack or meth go for these days) really ticks me off. So, my dear felon, just for the record, if you stole my stuff for drugs, I am kind of pissed at you. But I understand that your life probably sucks so I feel bad for you too. What else could it be? Perhaps you're just some kid who was trying to show off for your friends. In that case, I am extremely angry with you. You have no excuse for your behavior. I can understand being compelled by extreme need or extreme addiction, but stealing to show off just makes you a coward and a loser. Might I suggest putting your energies into preparing for college? Statistically, you'll be less likely to need to steal car radios and iPods with the increased earning potential you'll have with a college degree. If you go to www.fafsa.gov you can learn all about how to apply for student loans and pay them back. I am sure that if you spent half the time studying that you do burglarizing that you'll be quite adept at the materials on the college entrance exams. May I also suggest extra-curricular activities? Then maybe you can meet some new friends who don't think its funny or cool to commit felonies. That's all I've got really. I can't think of anything other than necessity, addiction, or just being a plain old dickwad that would cause someone to risk 12 years of jail for 60 bucks worth of old electronics. I don't have an awesome conclusion to this or anything. I just wanted to get it off my chest. And also, if anyone reading this has been considering or has already committed acts of burglary, maybe now that they know how high the consequences are they will think twice. That would make this city a lot better for all of us. <ul> <li> Location: NOLA <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-07-09T09:36:55-05:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1261072180.html To The Person Who Burglarized My Car text Flawless Business Plan Seeking Teleportation Scientist http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1040248146.html We are a small group of very well qualified businessmen who have a complete business plan that aims to yield investors, and partners, 1,000% returns within only a five year period. We have all the pieces in place, including CEO, marketing, and finance management. The only missing piece is YOU! We are looking for a very motivated, team-oriented scientist who has experience in teleportation research and/or technology. We will provide patent funding and small stipend. Once technology prototype is developed, the business will take off running- or teleporting! Significant equity will be provided as payment. Send a resume and any other information that may set you apart from other teleportation scientists. Can't wait for you to join our team. <ul> <li> Location: Who Cares-you should be here in a second <li> Compensation: Small stipend for living expenses; significant equity in the business <li>Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. <li>Please, no phone calls about this job! <li>Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-02-18T14:37:40-06:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/1040248146.html Flawless Business Plan Seeking Teleportation Scientist text People! Pics are helpful, and also, dude, this is used furniture... http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/991047696.html First, pics are important. How can I possibly imagine your lovely, dated, farted upon furniture in my home without a pic. Please don't think that the "Pics are available" sentence in your ad is adequate. It is not. Far from it. If you do not know how to post pics in your ad, ask someone to help you. Second, it is used furniture, being sold in a recession. Sellers, take the time to assess the price of a new couch/loveseat/recliner/table/etc. from Rooms to Go. Is the new furniture selling for a price similar to what you are asking? If so, most customers will choose new, trendy, fashionable furniture over your old, used, drooled upon, spilled on, soiled 1990's aztec/floral/geometric/wood-grain like furniture. I can hear a lot of you screaming, "But my furniture is from Ashley...so therefore it is worth more than crappy, new rooms to go furniture." Ha! Do you know the cost of re-upholstery. It is prohibitively expensive unless we are dealing with antiques. 80's and 90's furniture does not count. 70's doesn't either, because we all know that "retro" really just means "old". Also, people that are in the market for used furniture from craigslist are typically looking for cost-effective alternatives to sitting on the floor or eating on the kitchen counter, or sleeping on a therma-rest. We don't care what YOU paid for it 15 years ago, nor do we care what you think 15 year old ashley furniture ought to be worth. We care about what we can afford. And if we wanted to spend $800 on a couch, we would go to rooms to go, and have their delivery people bring it to our house. This is an important point, since none of you are able to deliver. Please take the time to evaluate the reasons that your used furniture is not selling. Why do you have to re-post the ad soooo many times? Do you have pics? Is your old, gross, furniture appropriately priced for the market? Is your recently bought, can't afford the debt furniture reasonably priced? Seriously, gimme a break! <ul> <li> Location: Greater Nola <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-01-13T08:53:44-06:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/991047696.html People! Pics are helpful, and also, dude, this is used furniture... text “Scary” Gutter Punk on Bourbon Street Circa 8 PM Last Night - m4m http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/962777737.html So I was wandering around the French Quarter last night and I found myself on Bourbon Street in search of hot cock. (Just kidding…or am I?! I am!) Knowing I would have to momentarily make a sharp right to reach my destination, I crossed the street. Further up the block, I noted a gutter punk across the street walking with a bicycle. He was talking to himself. Actually, he was talking at me (note I said “at” and not “to”). He was saying something like, “Go ahead and cross the street,” implying that I had crossed the street to avoid him. I think he may have called me a pussy. This is not the first time something like this has happened to me in the French Quarter; I dimly recall a gutter punk yelling “boo” at me when I refused to meet his gaze one night (I’m sorry, I tend not to make eye contact with dirtbags who want me to give them the money that my parents worked so hard to make!). Granted, I may look, dress and act like a square, but I’d like to make it perfectly clear that your shitty tattoos, filthy Misfits “Fiend Club” t-shirt and white guy dreads don’t threaten me in any way. (I personally think the Misfits suck and I will confess now to preferring Danzig’s first two solo records to anything he did with his NJ cohorts…blasphemy, I know!) I realize you think you’re exceptionally bad-ass for raging against the machine by choosing not to bathe regularly and panhandling strangers despite being a middle class cracker-ass-cracker, but I assure you that no one is impressed with or shocked by your behavior. Also, it’s annoying when you play your raggedy acoustic guitar or accordion on the sidewalk—please stop doing that. Do the world a favor and take a hot shot at your earliest convenience. I’m sure some of you cynics out there are thinking gutter punks don’t have access to the Internet and thus the guy in question probably won’t read this post…au contraire! (That’s French!) Those idiots may pretend to be impoverished outsiders, but I bet you my milk money that they all have laptops and a burning desire to surf CL. In the name of Satan, A Concerned Citizen <ul> <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-12-18T11:58:57-06:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/962777737.html “Scary” Gutter Punk on Bourbon Street Circa 8 PM Last Night - m4m text my coke for your pot http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/429859309.html I have two 12-pack cases of Coca-Cola professionally chilled to 38 degrees F in a white Kenmore 25.1 cu. ft. side-by-side refrigerator/freezer with push button filter. Looking to trade for your pot. A Kitchen Essentials® from Calphalon® Pro Series Nonstick 6-qt stock pot with cover would be ideal.   <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: New Orleans <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-09-23T10:59:36-05:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/429859309.html my coke for your pot text To My Mother-in-law http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/360879599.html Dear Mother-in-law, You have gotten on my last nerve. Seriously, cut the fucking apron strings already. Stop "dropping by' 5-7 fucking times a week. Call first. If your 'baby' doesn't answer, don't come by, just to see if we're home and not answering. I mean, who fucking does that? And if he doesn't answer, don't call my phone looking for him, then my son's cell phone, then leave some fucking smart ass message on the answering machine that you have called every number we have and NO ONE is answering!!! And then you start all over with calling him, then me,etc...within 3 minutes of leaving that fucking message!! And quit just walking into my house when you get there. Ever heard of knocking? I swear, one of these days, we're not going to see you walking up the driveway and have enough time to scramble and get our clothes back on and you are going to catch your son's big dick in my mouth. How am I supposed to look at you across the table on holidays knowing you saw me doing that? Oh and i KNOW his old loser girlfriends before me didn't mind your incessant calling, dropping by and butting in--you've told me enough times-- but his wife DOES!! We have jobs and kids and lives that don't revolve around you and you trying to stick your nose into every aspect of our lives -from what movie you think is 'appropriate" for your 14 year old grandkid to watch, to where we go out at on the weekends. Nothing and I mean NOTHING we do is any of your fucking business. If I hear you say one more fucking time "OH! I don't think that's right!!", regarding some decision we've made when discipling our kids, I swear i will take my frying pan and crack it over your fucking ignorant head. Did I ask for your opinion?? Nope, sure didn't and I never will. Oh and p.s....Do you see MY mother 'stopping by' at my house every fucking day of the week? No? That's right, we weren't raised that way. We were taught to CALL first, to see if the person is even interested in having company. I would never dream of stopping at someone's house at 10:00 at night to 'visit' for an hour, when I know my precious son and his wife both get up at 4am for work, 5 days a week. Totally unacceptable behavior. You have really gotten on my last fucking nerve and I really can't stand you. When I hear my husband mention your name I fucking cringe. We could have had a decent relationship, but you have messed all that up with your continuous fucking PRESENCE!! Not to mention the fact that all you do is bitch and complain about how we live our lives and raise our kids. Nobody fucking asked you. And NO I am NOT cooking something for Sunday dinner, so quit dropping by at dinner time to see for yourself if I really didn't cook something for your precious baby. I DIDN'T. I HAVE A FUCKING LIFE. I have a 4 year old and a 14 year old and a job in another city that I commute to more than 40 hours a week. I'm not cooking every night and every fucking Sunday for your precious baby. Cook it your damn self and invite us over for a change. And also, quit TAKING A SHIT at my house every single time you stop by. That grosses me out completely. You know damn well you live exactly three minutes down the road (which is a big part of the problem), so go shit at your own house, nasty! I've just had enough. Love, ...I am SO over you!!!....  <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: fucksville <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-06-26T15:15:48-05:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/360879599.html To My Mother-in-law text New French Quarter Resident Seeking Mom Friends http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/264612606.html You: tall long haired vixen seeking “normal mom friends.” Me: short long haired vixen mom seeking “international celebrity best friend”. I saw you in the French Quarter. We made eye contact. Coffee? Angelina. I want to be your best friend. I know we can make it work. You would love me. I am really funny. I can totally pretend that I don’t care that you are famous. We can laugh together, get pedicures, talk about our kids sleep issues, brush each others hair, have pillow fights. All of the things that friends do! Almost all of my friends have kids now, so you have a built in play group. One time one of the kids accidentally ate a pot brownie, but other than that we have a pretty good track record. Brad would really like my husband and I am sure the kids would get along. And just for the record, Brad is not on my “celebrities I can sleep with even though I’m married” list. So, you totally don’t have to worry. If he were Andy Garcia, we might have a problem. Let me know when you are free. Tuesdays are best for me.  <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: Uptown <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-01-18T11:55:32-06:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/264612606.html New French Quarter Resident Seeking Mom Friends text The Last Young, Attractive, Slim Katrina Female Has Been Rescued http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/97962395.html In a press release from the Louisiana State Governer's Office yesterday, it was announced that there are no more slim, young, attractive, caucasian females (SYACFs) remaining to be "rescued" from the Gulf Coast. The last SYACF was shipped off to her aunt's home in Deleware at approximately 8:30 AM EST yesterday. Speaking to the press from beneath a paper mountain of offers for "relocation help" from middle-aged, middle class, overweight, balding, sexually disenfranchised men from all across North America, Governer's Office staff member Dale Michael LeBeaux offered the following statement: "They're all gone, guys, I'm sorry. There are no more devestated and starving near-naked young vixens with large breasts left to be rescued. Every last SYACF has headed to the home of relatives or is enjoying a stay on a plush Yankee college campus while our city gets it's pants back up, and none of them have expressed interest in providing sexual favors to pot-bellied internet strangers in exchange for 'relocation and a fresh start' in Secaucus, NJ or Backofbeyond, Montana." "We tried," said LeBeaux. "We printed out all the offers and taped them on the walls of the Superdome various temporary shelters across three states so the gals without internet access could see them. It worked out for everyone. The young ladies got plenty of stress-relieving laughs out of it, and thanks to the generous donation of the print-outs from a Texas Kinko's Copy Center, we were darn glad to have them around when the toilet paper ran out." When asked if a fresh supply of nubile blond co-eds teetering on the brink of death might become available, the answer didn't offer much promise. "Half the city is water-free again," stated LeBeaux, "and some of the girls have already come back." Also no longer in supply are attractive MILFs with one attractive young child, displaced cheerleaders, or breast-enhanced strippers seeking a simbiotic relationship and a housecleaning job in suburban Boise. webmaster@craigslist.org 2005-09-16T13:02:43-05:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/97962395.html The Last Young, Attractive, Slim Katrina Female Has Been Rescued text Welfare Niggers(!!??!!)) http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/96269959.html Ummmm, the people you accuse of 'standing around and complaining' were held, with no food and water ,at gunpoint by The National Guard. What, exactly, were they supposed to do? They weren't even allowed to get out of those Concentration Camp lines to defecate and were forced to shit where they stood. WHAT WERE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO?!? I am so sick of "Nigger this" and "Wlfare mother that". For every crackhead that was in the 'Dome robbing people there were 50 good families who were just trying to get by. One little girl was raped and murdered and the perpetrator was beaten to death. That sounds like justice to me, more than she would have gotton if it were left up to courts. New Orleans fucked up evacuating the prisoners and a slew of rapists and murderers escaped, many to The Superdome. The people trapped there did the best they could, circling the wagons at night and attempting to protect themselves and others. For every chicken head that threw trash there were 20 people trying to clean up until they got so weak and dehydrated that all they could do was sit and wait. And pray. I didn't hear complaining. I heard begging. And you would beg,too if you were forsaken by your community and government and left to die. For every looter there were 5 BLACK people going in and out of houses and rescuing people. Maybe if the fucking store opened up and gave them some god damn water they wouldn't have had to break into stores. Why were 'looters' being shot at for stealing socks to put on thier raw, water logged feet? Maybe if FEMA had done something besides wave thier guns at children & allowed The Red Cross and even Wal-Mart in with some fucking water they wouldn't have been forced to loot. For every person who exploited and preyed on the weak there were 10 people protecting them and none of those protectors were the civil servants thier tax money (and mine) paid for. NEWSFLASH, motherfuckers. Not every poor person is on Welfare ,or have you never noticed who it is that's waiting on you at McDonald's or cleaning your toilet? Living below the poverly line does not equal unemployed. Who's washing your dishes? You think they're not living in the ghetto, too poor to get out when disaster strikes? In the past few weeks, I have seen crimes against humanity that I never imagined existed, especially in the United States of America, and now I hear racism, blaming the victim and such disregard for human life it's just...horrifying. There's a picture of a black man holding a baby girl outside of the Superdome. He's shooing photographers who are trying to take a picture of a a poor dead man's body away. He is placing his own blanket over the dead man and giving him a little privacy and dignity in his demise. This is an animal who you say is entitled and standing around in his own shit? In case you haven't noticed,there was no help for a lot of the people TO get out, and many didn't leave because they couldn't. Could not. Could not leave thier parents, thier hospitalized loved ones, thier pets. That sounds like people who were brave, very brave indeed and I will not stand idly by and listen to you take away any more of thier dignity than what has already been raped of them. Signed,A disgusted white person webmaster@craigslist.org 2005-09-08T15:50:04-05:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/96269959.html Welfare Niggers(!!??!!)) text AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/95492519.html Dear President Bush: A journalist has made an extremely profound statement while working Hurricane Katrina coverage from the Houston Astrodome. In relating an encounter with a bereft hurricane evacuee, the journalist said, "All I could do was just put my arm around her and let her cry. I mean, what could you possibly say at a moment like that? 'Don't worry, it will all be OK'? That would be stupid." "That would be stupid." Is it any coincidence, Mr. President, that your latest 'Mission Accomplished!' spin phrase since this tragedy began to unfold has been, "Don't worry everyone ... it will all be OK."? You have repeated it many, many times this past week. Yet things couldn't be further from OK. You would have to be stupid not to see that. You ask that people not politicize this crisis. And yet it is your politics that have put us in this crisis in the first place. Your glorious brainchild, the Department of Homeland Security, has effectively proven what the majority of Americans have outright known, if not sensed, to be true for the past four years -- that the United States of America is no more prepared today than we were on September 10, 2001. 3,000+ lives lost on 9/11. 1,881 troops lost in Iraq to "Operation-Whatever-We're-Calling-It-This-Week". Countless billions of dollars and four years spent on "making Americans safe from terra". And all of it in vain. The entire world has witnessed our Federal Government in the pathetic throes of their inability to effectively aid and protect it's own citizens on even the most basic of levels, despite grandiose boasts and promises. And yet you built the political platform for your second term upon it ...a Wonka-esque vision of a world safe for freedom and democracy, with you at the helm, the torch of liberty hung high, lighting a path for us through dark and uncertain times ahead. Any of your opponents who dared attack or question this glorious vision would be ceremoniously mud-slung into the fiery pit of an un-Patriotic hell. Your spin doctors were quite ruthless about it. As for the voting public, some of us bought it and some of us didn't. Those who bought it got tax breaks. Those who didn't got out their passports and contemplated Canada. The major issue before us today, Mr. President, is leadership. Plain and simple. Your credibility as a leader has been undermined by not only your inability to accomplish anything of merit, but also by your oddly detached, coldly aloof attitude toward the needs and feelings of your fellow human beings. Currently, more than one-half of this nation sees you as an election-stealing, war mongering, oil baronesque liar. You can now add "Nero-esque" to that list. Why? Because it seems that any opportunity presented you to prove your mettle as a true leader usually concludes with a highly debatable outcome. An outcome typically shrouded in controversial half-truths, curious deceptions, meaningless spin phrases, dubious achievements, moronic excuses and an unnerving amount of dead people. This hurricane, however devastating, could very well be the defining moment of your Presidency. Did you show the American people and the world your legacy -- a post 9/11 America that could rise to any challenge and come through the adversity as a stronger, ever-united nation with you as our leader? No. You showed the American people and the world that while we braced for what was sure to be one of the worst natural disasters in our history, you could continue to languish in the dog-days of a five week vacation, aptly avoiding a single woman with a single burning question. Briefly, you did go on television one time to appear serious and in charge, restate the obvious, and tell everyone not to worry ... that everything would be OK. A true leader would have returned to Washington prior to the hurricane's arrival. In a time of crisis, the people look to see that their leader is "on top of the situation". There is no greater symbolic soundstage in which to be "on top of the situation" than the Oval Office. True leaders recognize the merit in that. People don't feel protected and reassured with their leader dealing with crisis from a ranch. We get hay and manure from ranches. Not leadership. Two days after the storm struck, as American citizens were drowning in their own attics, you were still out on the road, stopping to share some laughs and birthday cake with a man whose character your spin-machine at one time had utterly assassinated. The following day, as even the most basic of relief was now already days late to hundreds of thousands of desperate American citizens, you were still out on the road, kicking it up at some sort of a fundraiser, strumming a guitar as if you had not a care in the world. And it seemed to the world that the Federal Government's response to this catastrophe could not begin until two days into the disaster, when you flew over it in your fully-stocked, fully air-conditioned 747 (paid for by the taxes of the people who were now drowning down below), shake your head, appear appropriately appalled and acknowledge that yes, we'd had a really bad hurricane. Once you were finally back in Washington, now several days into the catastrophe, you took a quick moment to appear serious and in charge again, restate the obvious, and tell everyone not to worry... that everything would be OK. You also made some kind of mention of our impending oil crisis -- "Don't buy gas if you don't need it," to use your Yale-educated, Commander-In-Chiefy words. We were also made aware that Bill and your daddy were going to raise some money to help the hurricane victims. Exit stage left. Your message of compassion to the people of a stricken nation. For nearly six whole days, as American citizens lay dead or dying amidst their own vomit, urine and feces in the streets like common animals, you left one of the worst crises this nation has ever endured to a Secretary of Homeland Security who referred to thousands of American citizens dying of neglect in the New Orleans Convention Center as "an unfounded rumor", and to a Director of FEMA who essentially stated that those now suffering in the misery got what they deserved for not heeding the warnings in the first place. How nice. People cried for help, and none came. The elderly and the infirm began to die, and still no help came. Local officials begged and pleaded for military assistance to quell the violence and looting, and still none came. Doctors pleaded to get sick infants evacuated from hospitals, and still none came. Dead American citizens lay on highway overpasses in broad view in a major American city, and still no help came. To the world it seemed that there was no great rush or effort to inject any type of a Federal presence into the chaos, other than to spout false, conflicting or incomplete information, and make empty promises that took nearly a week to keep. Can you not see, Mr. President, how days and days into this crisis your own citizens looked on in horror as they slowly realized, "My God, there is absolutely no one in control!"? Can you not see, Mr. President, how all along bureaucrats kept thanking each other in canned speeches typically reserved for Academy Award recipients over an immediate response that had not yet come, even as the death toll was mounting and the unanswered pleas for help continued? And after days of being continuously pressed again and again as to where the help was, the so-called leaders of this, the greatest nation on earth, finally announced to the civilized world that they were unable to immediately do anything to alleviate this horror, because .... well, because there had been a major hurricane followed by a major flood. Oh, and they hadn't expected it would be that bad. And that, Mr. President, is your vision of an "acceptable response". And that, Mr. President, is a "special kind of stupid". The media, thankfully, have recorded it from the beginning. Every empty word. Every misstep that needlessly cost us perhaps thousands of lives. Every image of the removed indifference of an ineffective President and his ineffective Administration stumbling blindly through a catastrophe that is to be their ultimate test ... a test they have so far ultimately failed. A pattern which will undoubtably continue. You will not be able to lie and slink your way out of this one. Your deer-in-the-headlights incompetence has been broadcast into far too many living rooms. Spare us your photo ops now, Mr. President. There is no need for you to tour the damaged areas. Those that have actually been doing something amid that horror are so far behind in their work (thanks to you) that they don't have time to pose for cameras. They don't have time for your feigned, meaningless sympathy for the survivors. Those survivors needed you almost a week ago. We are fully aware that there has been a catastrophe ... we don't need you to continually restate the obvious. We're not stupid. We are in need of leadership ... leadership that you are not able to provide us. Mr. President, you have once again dropped the proverbial ball like a shoebox full of yellowcake uranium from Niger. And as our so-called Commander In Chief, this time you need to be the one held accountable. This was the leadership the nation and the world witnessed: a fumbling, intermittent, kneejerk reaction response from an Administration supposedly prepared, and you repeating over and over that everything would be OK, that we will rebuild. Perhaps a generation or two from now, it will all be OK. The majority of us are not stupid. Right now, however, some people are simply more pre-occupied with retrieving their dead, searching desperately for their children or surviving another night with no food, water, medicine or humane facilities of any kind. They're not quite with you on the "rebuilding a glorious Gulf Coast" bandwagon just yet. They're going to need a little more time. You're better off saving it for the folks at Halliburton. Given this Administration's appallingly slow, bungled and insensitive response to this catastrophe, Mr. President, any death from this point moving forward should be considered an act of genocide. Yes, genocide. Things have gotten that ugly, and this time you will not wriggle free with deception and lies. Your "throw something against the wall and see what sticks" strategy can no longer be tolerated. Not after American citizens watched American infants dying needlessly in the flooded streets of a major American city. No way. The blood of those innocents is on your hands. Your ineffectiveness has been proven time and again. It is time for you and your uncaring Administration to step aside, and let someone else handle this job. There are very hard tasks and very dark days ahead, and it is once again painfully obvious that you are not the person to lead us through them. Our great nation cannot survive another moment under your incompetence. Rather than the legacy of a great leader bringing a great nation into a new millennium, your legacy instead will be remembered in the history books as the President who strummed while the Nation wept. webmaster@craigslist.org 2005-09-05T05:41:39-05:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/95492519.html AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES text This is a test. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/95107657.html This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have all been left to die while President Bush finished his vacation, Vice President Cheney went fishing, and Secretary of State Condi Rice went shopping for expensive shoes in Manhattan and took in a Broadway play. This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System. We now return you to your regularly scheduled disaster. webmaster@craigslist.org 2005-09-02T18:33:23-05:00 Copyright 2010, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nor/95107657.html This is a test. text